Welcome to the Ask Ajeé advice column! There are just a few simple instructions to follow prior to receiving REAL, quality advice from yours truly:
- Leave a comment here on the Home page, where it says “Leave a Reply” describing, in as MUCH detail as possible, the situation you need advice on.
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- Go to the Get Answers! page (at the top of your screen) where you will see I have copied your original post, followed by my response.
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Ask Ajeé 
Hi Ajee… okay… I think I’m losing my mind. Back in June my ex asked me to join his relationship with his current girlfriend. Because I still loved him and I am also bisexual I obliged him… a few months later I called it off because I couldn’t tolerate that he was giving her everything I needed him to give me in our 5 years… she’s been in his life for a year and his family and friends love her but hated me and I honestly was the best I could be for him. I was younger and still learning… now, I’ve grown uncomfortable with how things have turned out. I can’t sit and watch them be together because I feel bitter but she won’t even listen to me or let me leave them alone without it resulting in us arguing. What tf am I going to do with myself. I thought I would marry this man… spend my life with him but he wants her and she’s so perfect… idk how to cope
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Hey Ajee, I’m an overall overwhelmingly self conscience person and I feel my insecurities are hindering me from being great. I recieve a lot of compliments on my actual self and not only the physical, which I never internalize. For the first time in my life I said I love you to someone and meant it but he lied to me about a situation after I asked for the truth many times. The situation was very messy, I said I forgave him but I don’t think I ever really will. He feels as though he did a good job of trying to move on past it but he never truly addressed the situation unless I blew up about it. I was so angry and hurt that I began to lie to him about little things. The situation made me even more insecure and I think it changed me so much as a person. How can I work on loving myself while being productive without looking for that love elsewhere?
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I think my boyfriend and his sister are TOO close. Is this possible ? His instagram is covered with her. She is in almost every single photo he posts, about 90% of his pictures. He doesn’t even post pictures of me & him despite that we’ve been together almost a year. When he gets good news or something cool happens he speed dials his sister to tell her, even if he is with me. For example he recently got his first credit card which resulted in his first credit score & he was so excited that he immediately called his sister to tell her even though i was sitting right next to him. He calls her multiple times a day just to “check on her” & “see what she’s doing”. If she doesn’t answer he immediately texts her & worries something may have happened to her (slightly normal). He doesn’t do the same for me though. They are ALWAYS texting all throughout the day & late hours of the night. His sister didn’t approve of our relationship when we first got together, she said awful things about me & tried to convince him that i was no good & i didn’t really like him, i was just with him to get back at her and my ex, which she is now dating. She eventually “got over it” as she saw I wasn’t going any where but throughout me & her brother’s relationship, me & her have had multiple arguments. I still feel like she has something against me because she’s always bad mouthing me despite that she acts kindly to me to my face. I am currently 8 months pregnant by her brother & she told my friends (both of our co-workers) that she feels like I definitely trapped her brother, which is so far from the truth. A few months ago, me & my boyfriend we’re going through a tough spot and had trust issues, I went through his phone & found that his sister was bad mouthing me to him & it seemed as if he was accepting of it, if not agreeing with it ! She was saying to him that I’m the type of girl who would hold our baby as leverage against him. This is the kind of stuff she fills his head with constantly. His sister is only home about 60% of this time & when she comes home he gets so excited, if we’re laying in bed he’ll hop right up & go hold an hour conversation with her, even if they’ve been texting all day. His sister doesn’t have a room at the house so if she decides to stay home that night she shares the bed with her brother, my boyfriend. Yes, they sleep together… she is 20 years old, he is 22 ! She could sleep with her mom or her other brother which is my boyfriends twin brother or she could sleep on the couch but would rather sleep with him… in the bed we have sex in, that alone is enough to weird me out. If me and him have plans to sleep over at his house but his sister decides to stay home & sleep in his bed, he’ll call off the plans. Or sometime before we even make plans to sleep over at his house, he will first call his sister to basically check if it’s okay with her, if she’s sleeping in his bed or not. He always puts her request first & puts her over me. Sometimes I’ll invite him out and he’ll refuse to go unless his sister is going. A lot of times his response is “if my sister goes, i’ll go”. “If my sister isn’t going, I’m not going”, even if his twin brother is going. Whenever we all go out together him & his sister clique up & he ends up forgetting out me. For example they’ll get together & walk ahead of everyone else & leave me to walk far behind & alone. I feel like he’s dating his sister more than he’s dating me. Sometimes I feel single. He runs to his sister about things I feel like he should run to his woman about. When he gets dressed, he runs to ask his sister if it looks okay even though i’m sitting right there. If he needs something ironed or folded, he asks his sister to do it, not me. Sometime I feel that she is TOO involved in our relationship, too opinionated about us. I could go on but all in all, I feel like they are much too close, am i just jealous or does this make you uncomfortable too ?
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How long should you wait til you and you’re significant other move in together? ( and by move in together, I don’t mean they move into my place or I move into theirs, but WE move into our own NEW shit together , split rent and everything else 50/50)!
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Hey girl hey! So here’s what it is. I’ve been dating this guy for like 10 months and we’ve been ok, not the best but we’ve been working on it. He isn’t perfect but says I am and I just try to look past everything and see the best in him. But today he tells me that he needs closure with his ex, we’ve been dating for 10 months and you just now need closure? It hurts that he’s just now bringing this up especially since he was adamant about me officially closing the door on my ex. I feel like he hasn’t been practicing what he preached and I don’t know man, I’m hurt but a part of me wants to make it work because I invested so much time in this…he says he wants us to work but I don’t know what to think.
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