“Okay so i had sex with a friend, and ever since its been sooo awkward. And i sorta just wanna repair it but im such a wuss and i would never bring that event up to him. im not really sure if iv caught feeling or not but i would deff be friends with benefits. but honestly i feel like were both dancing around it. and i really just dont like the awkardness”

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imakebaddecisions,

 

The first thing that I’m going to tell you is to be straightforward. Especially because things have been awkward between the two of you since then, the best thing you can do is talk about it in some capacity, and clear the air. And if you two really are friends, it shouldn’t be as bad or as difficult to stomach as you may think.

 

You’re saying that you’re not really sure whether or not you’ve caught feelings, but the way it sounds to me – you probably have. If you even have to question it… c’mon. And to tell you the truth, if you find that he doesn’t have the same feelings for you, I’d advise you NOT to continue your physical relationship. You’ll always be way more invested in the idea of you two being an item than he is, which will lead to expectations that you probably will not have met. This can lead to constant disappointment. Don’t put yourself in that position.

 

You seem sort of fragile, that doesn’t sound like a situation you would handle well. And it could get messy. So I say, have a straightforward conversation with your friend. Be honest, and see where it goes. But be prepared to maintain a strictly platonic (non-romantic) relationship with him if things don’t go the way you want. Spare yourself the stress, there are plenty of other guys out there to date and solid friendships are hard to come by. 😉

 

But good luck and be SMART, girl. I hope I helped!

 

Ajeé

“There is a female I genuinely enjoy but her box is trash. How do I break the news? Am I doing her a favor by giving her work without expecting it in return or am I being foolish?”

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Sancho Saucey,

 

For starters, I’m not sure exactly what you mean when you say that you “genuinely enjoy” a “female”. I’m assuming that means that you genuinely like her as a person. Which should make this a little easier.

 

As far as how you break the news? Be honest. If you like this girl, tell the truth, but not in an abrasive way. You’re not doing her, or yourself any favors by hiding suffering through something that should be a mutually enjoyable experience. Also, she can’t fix something that she doesn’t know is “broken”. So to answer your question, frankly – you are being foolish. Sorry. You’re just wasting both of your time.

 

At some point during the discussion, tell her what you do like, then tell her what/how she can improve. It’s the only way. And if it’s so bad, or if there’s no improvement, just move on to someone else who will better suit your needs. There’s no shame in that, especially if you go about it the right way.

 

Hope I helped out!

 

Ajeé

“Im 20 years old and I’m still single. Everyone around me seems to have a relationship but me and it seems I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life. My friends tell me its because i don’t get out enough but I think its because I’m busy and the right one will come at the right time. There are also times where I feel like they may be right. What do you think?”

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singleandUNBOTHERED,

 

Believe it or not, I know plenty of people in their 20’s who are either single, or rarely date. And there are a few reasons for that, not all of them bad. But whatever that reason, I can assure you that you will not be alone for the rest of your life.

 

Ever heard the saying, “There’s somebody for everybody”? Well, it’s true! Whatever strengths, flaws or dispositions you may have, this world is so vast that SOMEONE, if not MANY people out there may very well be your perfect match.

 

If your friends think you’re not getting out enough, ask yourself why that is. Why have you been so confined to the house? Is it laziness? Lack of social skills? Low self-esteem? It’s important to consider because these are things that can do long term damage to a healthy social life or relationship if it goes on too long. It’s easy to get stuck in your ways. Try going out with your friends more. If you don’t like what they’re doing, try making the plans yourself. The more you get out, the more opportunities you have to meet someone new. Another tip: Go places where you can attract the type of person you want. That part is very important.

 

There’s also the possibility that you may just be busy like you said! You may just be naturally introverted. The truth is, the right person will come at the right time. Just because everyone around you is in a relationship, don’t feel pressed to have one… I’m sure they’re all pulling their hair out half the time, anyway :).  INSTEAD, if you really want to, try dating casually just to get to know people and get your feet wet, before you go looking for the person you’ll walk down the aisle with, lol. But you’re so young so FOCUS ON YOU! You’re only young once! You have all the time in the world.

 

Really hope I could help you out!

 

Ajeé