“Me and my boyfriend broke up. We share all the same friends. He was a little grimey, so I’m really upset at how everything ended, even though I could envision us being dope friends and probably working things out when we see each other again. Maybe. But even aside from all that, should I kind of ignore him some when I see him? I go away for school, so we basically live around each other. I will see him ALL of the TIME :(”

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sadsadsad,

 

I honestly wish that I had a little more info on this one, or that there were a few more details. If you do wanna add, I’ll just tell you all the things I wish I knew:
1) What did he do that you felt was “grimey”?
2) How long were you two together?
3) How long have you two been broken up?
4) Why did you break up?

 

But, to answer your question – what you should do when you see him all depends on how you feel, and on how things ended. My thing is, you say that you’ll see him all the time because of your living situation, and you say that you two have all the same friends. That alone makes me feel inclined to tell you to try to be friendly with him. Be cordial, at least. Your best bet is to just be mature about the situation, being that it seems like he won’t be easy for you to just completely avoid. Don’t put yourself through the stress of even trying to act a certain way. Just be cool.

 

Whatever he’s done must not be unforgivable because you say you could see the two of you being friends once the dust settles. So in that case, my biggest advice for you is pretty simple. Don’t fall back into a relationship that’s bad for you. Sometimes you think you’re over someone or you think your chapter is closed but after a while, things can re-blossom into a romance, yet again. It sounds like you know this guy isn’t right for you, you say he’s been “grimey” in the past and it would probably just end the same way.

 

So if you’re gonna be cool with this guy, keep a safe distance for your own heart’s sake. You called yourself “sadsadsad” 😦 I don’t wanna see you perpetuate those feelings by repeating your mistakes. Move on, girl. But I think you can handle a “hi and bye,” or flashing your smile here and there lol, you got this 😉

 

Hope I helped you out, love!

 

Ajeé

“Heyyyy so this girl in my school who I was friends with since forever, is throwing me under the bus, lying about me and all this extra ridiculousness for popularity. I’ve been dealing with certain patterns of her stupidity for yearssss. We aren’t close anymore but we share similar friends which is why I still have her-related problems. Something happened recently that was caused by her, makes me look bad, and makes this other girl not want to be cool with me. But it was completely made up, and she’s way closer with my ex-friend than she is with me. She is TIRED of problems with me (when the source of these issues is really the other girl.) should I blow up my ex friends spot? ? Or should I be gracious?”

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ghostbuster,

 

I think the solution to your problem is actually relatively simple. To answer your biggest question concerning whether or not you should “blow up your ex friend’s spot”… yes! Don’t ever let anyone throw dirt on your name, and you just sit there and take it. Air out all the facts. Be prepared to ruffle some feathers, but it’s better to be real and upfront rather than stand down or mask your displeasure. That’s how you become a push over.

 

Whoever this “ex friend” is, she sounds super messy. Write her off for good. And the honest truth is that if the people around you are allowing this girl to change their perception of you or treat you differently, you all may not be as close as you think. Either that, or those girls just don’t know how to be a true friend. You’re saying this girl is lying on you, and I’m taking your word for it (LOL) and as long as you know that, whoever is not on your side should be paidddd dust! I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have any friends or protect any relationships, but only the genuine ones deserve to be saved. You sound young, and I guarantee you’ll meet a lot of new people over the years!

 

So don’t be afraid to stand alone for a while if you must, but most importantly, don’t be afraid to stand your ground. You didn’t mention your age so I’m not exactly sure if the immaturity of this situation is warranted or not. But this issue does seem unnecessary (although it’s not your fault). Cut the cancer out of the group, show this girl’s true colors and keep it moving, girl! That’s my point. Your real friends will still be there. And good luck sorting this out, I think you’ll be fine.

 

Hope I helped you out!

 

Ajeé

“Hey So since last summer my best friend stopped talking to me and the thing is that she’s The daughter of my moms friend and I only see her when her mom comes over they use to come to over every week but stopped now Im messaging her and she’s not replying although i know she reads it she also didn’t attend my sisters wedding even thought her mom did and I’m kind of angry about that but I really don’t know why she’s doing this I didn’t do anything wrong to her so what should I do ?”

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friendORfoe,

 

Hey. I think this question is actually pretty easy to answer. And I’d been in a similar situation when I was younger, where I thought a friend of mine was acting funny for no obvious reason. We stopped talking for like a year and I later found out that she’d thought the same thing about me and was just as confused as I was. Strange. Silly. It all could’ve been avoided by a simple conversation… not one of my proudest moments.

 

Now. You say this is your “best friend” but she doesn’t sound like one. If you only really see her when her mom comes around and you two don’t even speak, if you’re messaging her and she refuses to reply, if she didn’t bother to come to your sister’s wedding and didn’t care to even say why, she’s NOT your friend. You’ve outgrown her, or maybe you’ve outgrown each other. She obviously doesn’t respect you or your feelings.

 

So, what do you do? If it’s weighing soooo heavy on your heart, the next time you do see her, ask her about it. If you feel like you’ll never see her, call her phone. Tell her how you feel. See how she responds, if she responds, but be prepared to walk away from that conversation as two strangers. If she continues to show disrespect OR disregard for you? That’s it. “Friends” no more. Sorry, but I’m sure she’ll be easy to replace. Doesn’t sound like big shoes to fill. But don’t chase after anyone, if you genuinely feel like you’ve done nothing wrong – this is beneath you and you’ll honestly be just fine. If it were me? I’d never speak to her again at this point, but I understand that not everyone is like that!

 

I hope I helped you! But please, don’t be a push-over, girl! ❤

 

Ajeé