“How long should you wait til you and you’re significant other move in together? ( and by move in together, I don’t mean they move into my place or I move into theirs, but WE move into our own NEW shit together , split rent and everything else 50/50)!”
Moe,
That’s such a broad question to ask! I really think that’s something that depends on the people involved. There’s always a chance that it could, or could not work out. I’ve always imagined myself having my own place until I’m probably engaged to be married, regardless of how long I’ve been with someone. Living with someone is a huge commitment and definitely shouldn’t be taken lightly.
It’s cool to live with your s/o as long as the relationship is healthy, however, there are a few reasons why I would personally never rush into it. You might not wanna add the responsibility of splitting bills and having to be “up under” that person 24/7 to the mix, and sometimes you might just want your space. I am personally the “ME TIME” QUEEN LOL, so if I wanna be alone, I just wanna be alone. And it may not have anything to do with that person.
Another reason why I think it’s good to wait sometimes is because it’s good to have your own. There’s no reason to rush into sharing a lease with anybody if you don’t have to, in my opinion. I like the idea of two people in a relationship both having their own place and being able to spend time at their own homes. I also like the idea of spending time at each others’ places at your own discretion. It’s nice to be able to leave home and have someplace else to go to that’s cozy and “feels like home” in its own right. I think sleepovers can be a lot more fun than living together, especially in the beginning.
Now, to answer your question, it may be less about time and more about your bond. Personally speaking, I’d say you should date someone for at least a year or two before moving in together, especially if you’re young, like in your early 20’s. Because once y’all sign that lease, and once y’all are moved in… that’s it. You’re locked in for (likely) 2 years. So if you’re in a new relationship, I would say not to rush and to really play it by ear. If and when you decide you’re really serious about this decision to move in together, just make sure you sit down with your s/o and really discuss what you both want. Also, you should talk the very real possibility that most people would prefer to avoid. If you do move in together and decide it doesn’t work out, what happens then? Have a contingency plan before you even sign anything. Discuss how you both would want your household to be run. It is a really big deal and as cautious as I am, that’s not to say that it can’t be a great thing. Just acknowledge that there are risks involved and your home should be your sanctuary.
Hope I didn’t scare you too much! LOL… and I hope I helped you out a little. Pretty sure I actually know you too, so hit me if you wanna discuss this further! But if not, good luck and I’m sure things will work out the way they’re supposed to.
Ajeé
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