“There’s this guy that I talked to for a year, and we moved too fast. So now we don’t talk the same way. We care about each other but he doesn’t care ENOUGH to get over himself and be with me. We can still hang, and its beautiful because we get along so well. He’s always down to mess around, and dont get me wrong– I want to. But every time I go down that road, my feelings are too involved. Should I just leave him alone completely?”
Sillylady,
Girl, you’re not silly. Everyone has probably been in a position where they’ve dealt with someone in a less-than-ideal situation and had to juggle all their options. Truthfully, you’ll only be silly if you continue to mess with him. So to answer your question, yes. I think you should leave this guy alone completely.
Granted, this post isn’t very long, but I think there’s enough information here to justify my response. Certain relationships and situations aren’t meant to be serious, some situations are meant to be casual and temporary. To be honest, most are.
It’s nice that you guys get along well, but the truth of the matter is that when a guy tells you something FLAT OUT, you have to listen to him. You’re only playing yourself if you don’t. No matter how well you two get along, if he tells you “I don’t want to be in a relationship,” please believe him. Because even if you manage to wear him down and get him to be in a relationship with you, a guy who doesn’t want a commitment will not be the boyfriend you want him to be. And in that case, it’s not really his fault. Because the truth is, he was clear from the beginning.
If when you two “mess around” your feelings are too involved, causing you to want more, it’s not worth it. It’s not worth your sanity, integrity, or emotional stability.
If you could manage to accept the very clear boundaries of your relationship, and have it be a casual one, then I think it’s alright to give it a try. But in my honest opinion, it doesn’t seem like you can with this one. In which case, spend your time taking someone seriously who wants the same things as you. That’s the best thing for you. Either that, or take some time to be alone. You have all the time in the world to find something serious. So good luck. Hope I could help!
Ajeé
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