“have you ever considered just taking a break with your girl until you are able to get the feelings that you may feel for other woman out? and can be all about her? until then you may still be tempted to mess around with other woman and that’s not right to her if she’s being faithful to you. but you’re still young and still learning/growing, and maybe she will understand that.”
Anonymous,
Well, I’m guessing in this particular situation you’re really just asking whether or not I understand your predicament and think it’s okay. The answer is, I do… and it depends. Here’s why:
Long story short, I think that you care about your girlfriend otherwise you wouldn’t be asking this. You wouldn’t even feel conflicted about it. So it’s not an issue of whether or not you care about her. It’s a matter of self-control and what you really want out of life. You need to be fully honest with yourself if you want to do what’s right by her. And the truth seems to be, you want some freedom.
Like you said, we’re all still young. That’s a major reason why I find no fault in how you feel. There’s no law that says you’re a bad guy unless you’re tied down to one chick. You’re only the bad guy when you ARE tied down, have someone around that cares about you, but you still end up playing them. Don’t do her or yourself that disservice. If you’re not ready to fully commit right now, just tell her that. A real woman would respect that over you messing around behind her back, any day. You have a chance at least at salvaging your friendship with that type of honesty. Being told something that hurts, but helps is a certain way to build trust between yourself and someone else. It means you’re willing to keep it real, no matter the cost. Believe me. But there is another side to this.
Her side.
If you’re gonna mess with other girls and you know it, dead the romantic relationship. And be sure to tell her that she’s not the reason you’re not ready, it’s just where you are in life right now and you wanna be honest. Reassure her by reminding her how special she is and how much she means to you. How she’s different from other girls and you just don’t wanna mess up a good thing by having it at the wrong time. But it’s her choice on how she’ll react. You know her, I don’t. Hopefully she does understand. She should. But she might not. Realize that she’s entitled to that. And it may take her a little time to come around. Again, it might not. But no matter what, she can never say you did her dirty, or tell herself that. Pay close attention to your delivery, that might make all the difference.
I appreciate your question, by the way. I enjoy understanding the different ways men and women may struggle with certain aspects of their relationships, as well as the problems that a lot of people just have in common. Your position is perfectly natural, imo. Just please follow through on your convictions and don’t run around cheating on her. Never burn the good bridges, just the faulty ones! Lol. And tell the bros I know what I’m talking about if they’re having any problems of their own .. 😂
Ajeé
Ask Ajeé 