“Seemingly hopeless romantic.. Not really desperate for love.. More or less, eager.. Not even for love though.. Just a connection. Maybe at this point it might just be that I need to work on myself more.. But since I’ve gotten out my relationship in February or something shit been weird wit chicks. I feel like what I get out of them is a necessity to maintain what it is to “look” like you have someone, but not really want them… To be completely honest, and I’m confiding in this site and its creator solely out of trust, in them and myself, It barely gets further than fucking and nothing. Idk I hope you get me. Or am I buggin? What to do?”
Ceasarsthoughtsat2Am,
I believe that I do understand your sentiments. And I also believe that this is something that you can definitely work through. I’m also glad to see that you’ve done a lot of contemplating on the matter, and furthermore, you’ve done your own soul searching and you’re being honest with yourself about the situation. That’s majorly important, because most people are always blind to the facts when it comes to themselves. That or they’re just completely in denial. So for that, I commend you!
Now, you’ve been out of your previous relationship for just about two months short of a year, I think it’s safe to say it’s been a while. I’m not sure if the last girl you were with has left you with a jaded view on love and commitment, but it seems that way, in a sense. I think your problem with finding a genuine connection may be one of 3 things:
- Subconsciously you’re afraid to commit because you’re not in the frame of mind to fully put your trust in another person again.
- The girls you’re choosing to entertain just may be not fit your standards to begin with. And AGAIN, subconsciously you may be choosing these girls because you know that what they have to offer is limited, and you find a certain level of comfort in knowing what to expect, in addition to the fact that it provides you with your own sense of emotional security.
- You may just feel lonely, in a way. You don’t seem like the settling type, nor do you seem like the kind of guy to mistake something temporary for something real. But sometimes our own pessimistic outlook on things can cloud our judgement either way. Believe me, I totally understand.
Now for a little advice!
Firstly, I feel like it was very perceptive of you to start by saying that you just might need to work on yourself a little. It may be easier said than done, but I think you should resist .. Or even diminish the urge to find something serious in a romantic sense. Being that most, if not all of your current/recent relationships have been very casual, maybe that’s a sign to just keep things casual for now. You’re probably not ready for something serious at the moment, and that’s fine. But accepting that fact will rid you of the feeling that you “need” something more or that something is missing. Reasons and seasons! This might just be your season to chill. ❄️ There’s nothing wrong with that, at all.
Finally, I’d just like to mention that I think that you may actually find what you’ve been looking for if you decide to STOP LOOKING! A lot of times, good things happen and great things come together when you least expect it. Patience is key. Keep the pressure off yourself for now. All things will be what and how they’re supposed to be in due time.
Now, if there’s anything more or you feel there are any bases I haven’t covered .. Feel free to hit me back! You know where to find me!
Really hope I helped out though!
Ajeé
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