“I recently started talking to someone. I really like that she is sensitive and outgoing. I can see myself being in a relationship with her but I’m not sure about it being long term since she is away at school and we haven’t met yet.. My really good friend has told me she likes me. I used to like her before we became close and I then became content with just being friends. The situation with the friend is that she doesn’t want a relationship right now and that she wouldn’t be able to handle that I go away for school. We talked about the potential between us having a relationship in the future and I know it’s something I see myself being in for the long run. I think my problem is I don’t want to waste anyones time but the relationship with my friend wouldn’t even be a possibility right now because she doesn’t want a relationship. I’m just trying to make the “right” choice. Help me.”
DeLow,
From what I do understand, you’re talking about two different girls. The girl that you haven’t met yet, and the friend that you used to be into. Hopefully that’s what’s going on here.
The main problem I see here is that, ideally, on paper, neither of these two girls appear to be the best candidate to start a new relationship with right now. And that seems to be primarily because of all the distance between you and the both of them. That, and/or the distance to come.
Something else that I’m trying to understand is the relationship between these two girls in the first place. It sounds like they’re friends, or at least acquaintances of some sort. That’s because you said that the friend is who told you that the other girl wanted you. Conflict of interest??? Lol! I only ask because if that is the case, it’s messy in itself and if my plan was to pursue either one of them, my first course of action would probably be to make a choice.
Now, both girls seem to be nice. I think that the girl you haven’t met yet is someone that you should probably take the time out to meet very soon. That is, if you really are considering a relationship. If you really want to, it’s not impossible to maintain a long distance relationship. It just takes a lot of compromise and commitment, not to mention loyalty.
The same could be said about your friend though. If you both really wanted that relationship, you could definitely make it work. But in a way, I think you answered your own question. Your friend doesn’t want a relationship. No matter the feels, she told you the bottom line. If she genuinely does not want or is not ready for a relationship, even if somehow you managed to get into one, it’d probably be damned from the start. If someone tells you they don’t want to be in a relationship, ALWAYS believe them! It’s probably for the best that you just maintain your friendship, and if anything, wait for a better time in both your lives to pursue something more.
That was a long post! 😂 But in short, you might be a lot better off building something completely new rather than striking old matches that don’t want to be sparked in a romantic way. In other words, don’t force anything!
REALLY hope I helped you!
Ajeé
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