“Hey Ajeé
I’ve been having many self-esteem issues and appearance issues. It’s ruining my relationship with my boyfriend as well as my own happiness. I cry every night because I have lost hope in myself after gaining over 20 pounds. I spend most of my days in sweats or in my room. I have isolated myself from everything that has to do with the outside world like going outside and hanging out with friends. Everytime I’m outside I feel as if everyone is staring out how big I am. I also feel like i have no one who can understand what I’m going through. I just want to feel beautiful again when I look in the mirror. I want to find motivation but I feel like i have none left. Where do I start?”
unmotivated,
I feel for you, and everyone has struggled with their self-esteem at some point or another in their lives. It’s not only you, and this something that I’m 100% sure you can pull yourself out of. But you call yourself “unmotivated” and that’s NOT a word you should use anymore. You have to understand that if this is something that’s really hurting you and affecting your quality of life, you have to want it bad enough to actually make that change. Unfortunately, no one can do it for you. Plus, people do it all the time, people who need to lose wayyyy more than 20 lbs! So starting tomorrow, you are motivated. And nothing less. Do this for yourself.
This is a fairly easy fix (dropping your desired 20 lbs) but it will require some hard work. Of course, after you drop the weight, it will be left to you to maintain that weight loss so you don’t end up feeling the way you do right now, ever again. And btw, if you felt beautiful before, (like you had earlier mentioned) I’m sure you are still beautiful! I highly doubt that people are out staring at you in disgust. It’s all in your head. Cut yourself some slack.
Set a time frame that you can reach certain milestones by, that should help to motivate you. If going one week at a time is easiest for you right now, try that. I have prepared 5 tips that may help you accelerate your progress a little. And any time I’ve ever dieted, I almost completely cut out all starch and all sugar from my diet. Works like a charm, and kind of acts as a detox because once you reach your goal, your body doesn’t crave it as much. You shouldn’t completely cut out any food groups but a focus on protein and veggies is key. At the end of the day, you have to find a diet for that works for you, Google it. And definitely stay active even if it’s just a few times a week.
But alright, here are my tips:
- Obviously stick to your diet, whichever you choose. But if you slip up, don’t beat yourself up about it. Just try to get back on track!
- Drink green tea – it boosts your metabolism, and accelerates fat burning. It’s also a known fact that green tea’s fat burning capabilities really target the belly area. But this, like the other aspects of your diet can only be helpful to your weight loss if it’s coupled with a consistent exercise regimen. You MUST exercise to actually burn the fat. The calorie deficit is key.
- Cardio – as far as exercise goes, cardio is the best way to burn fat, fast. And one of the best ways to burn the most calories is running. Interval training on a treadmill (YouTube/Google, whatever just look it up) is even more effective than running alone. If you run 20-30 minutes everyday (walking in between and then run again) for one week, with your diet? That alone will guarantee you weight loss. Find other exercises that work towards your target areas and just be consistent about it. And the more muscle you build, the faster you burn fat. That is also a fact 🙂
- Drink a lot of water, juice and soda should be out of the question. Fresh pressed juices are an exception, in my book.
- Lemon-cayenne water – If you can handle it, it’s basically an all natural system-flushing, fat burning drink. It’ll definitely help you shed water weight fast (usually in the beginning) and help you burn more fat throughout the day and when you exercise.
But I guess, when I look back at your post, that your real question was how to start. I think I’ve given you everything you might need to get started. But now the rest is up to you. If you don’t have a treadmill at home, you can go to a gym, or you can go to a track, or you can just walk/run in your neighborhood early or in the evening if you really don’t wanna be seen. Jumping rope is also a great form of cardio. Another thing you might want to look up is “intermittent fasting”, it is definitely effective. Whichever method you choose, START immediately!
And lastly, I just want to remind you that looks are not everything. Your boyfriend for example, clearly still loves you. I’m sure he’d be happy to support you if you let him. Try to understand that. I’m sure there’s way more to you than meets the eye and so a few extra pounds shouldn’t make you feel so low, seriously. So put your best foot forward and you’ll see how life will be that much better once you achieve your goals. Oh, and hit me back with some progress if you make some, I’d love to see it.
Hope I helped, girl. You can do this! And if you’re feeling like this is more than just a lack of motivation and maybe a depression, please try to seek the help of a therapist who can work through your problems with you.
Ajeé
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